Dear sisters,

Being single, however old you are, and waiting for that man God has for you seems to be a challenge.  There will be guys coming in and out of your life and the sound of “staying single” sounds like a challenge.  But really, it’s not once you embrace the fact and love it.  Maybe it sounds weird, “embracing your singleness”, but really, it’s a beautiful thing.  A beautiful thing to show that you care about your future man so much, you will wait for him. As you wait and gradually grow in Christ and become independent on what God has brought you up to be, He will give you that man and it will be beautiful.  But we all need encouragement if we plan to be single and wait.  Here are some ways to embrace your singleness.

1. Own Yourself.

Own who you are.  This comes with loving yourself.  You can’t love someone else if you haven’t learned to love yourself.  Even the little things, like, “I’m too tall, I have a long neck, I’m too fat”, keep us from loving and owning ourselves. Know who you are to Christ and drop every insecurity.  When you own yourself, it makes you become confident in saying, “I don’t have to have this man.”  We sometimes get to the point to where we think of life like we have to have a man, yet Jesus lived His whole life single and He did amazing miracles.  I’m not saying, “Your never getting a man and you will live your whole life single.”  No, I’m saying, don’t be dependent on the statement, “I must have a man.”  Be independent, own yourself in who God sees you as.

2. Understand what marriage is.

In the beginning, God could have said, “Let there be women”, but he chose to take the closest thing to Adam’s heart to make is love, his heart, his women, Eve.  That’s how God wants marriage to be, side-by-side, close to each other’s heart, a perfect match.

The man said,

“This is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;  she shall be called ‘women’, for she was taken out of man.” -Genesis 2:23

After you and your future man get married, y’all are no longer individuals but you guys are one.  So with that, you guys need to have a common goal.  Understand what marriage is, not only to help you embrace singleness but to help you prepare for marriage while your single.

3. Know that, that guy is not going to complete you.

Your husband is supposed to compliment you, not complete you.  Think of him as a complimentary factor, not a “I have to have a man.”  The only person who can complete you is Elohim. He is where you find who you are and your identity, not your husband.  So no more captions that say, “He completes me.”  Because he don’t, girl.

4.  Focus on getting rid of your own problems and brokenness before getting into a relationship.

In a relationship, your saying, “I want to make you great.”  But if your already broken, you beg the attention.  Let God fix all of the brokenness and make you whole before you get in a relationship.  If you have insecurities some days, don’t talk to some guy that will leave you empty when your done talking, but get some encouragement from good friends or ask God to help you.  So when your whole you can get in the relationship and be like, “I want you to be great.  What is your ministry?  What is your vision?”  If the guy is called to lead, he can’t lead with a broken women.  What you’re doing now in your singleness should be making you more whole and getting you ready for that.

5.  Except the fact that there is no such thing as a “perfect relationship”.

We like to make lists of how we want our guy to look or be like or we write down standards (I’m guilty).  It’s not a bad thing, but it makes us start trying to find that perfect guy we wrote down when he doesn’t exist.  It makes us raise our standards so high that it won’t allow brokenness to come through.  Nobody is perfect and nobody will be perfect, not even your future husband.  So instead of writing down how we want him to be like or to look like, write down things he could be dealing with.  (Brokenness, addictions, physical pain,etc.) Start writing things that could be wrong with him and pray over him and that he will overcome or be healed or etc.  So that way, when you are with him or meet him he’ll say, “Well I’ve been dealing with this..” and you’ll say, “It’s okay, I’ve been praying for you with that.”  Now, set high standards!  Just not Jesus high, enough to let brokenness come in, because in a relationship, you are trying to make each other great.  But set your standards high enough to where you guys can run this race for God together.

Alright family, these are the basics of helping you embrace singleness.  Be single is not something shameful, but beautiful.  It’s beautiful to know you will wait for him.  As you pursue God in your singleness, when the time comes, a man will start to pursue you.  Stay patient and grow in your relationship with God.   I hope this helped you!  I love you family and if you like, watch the two beautiful poems of how these two people will wait for the person God has for them, “I Will Wait” -Janette..iks and “Worth The Wait” Joseph Solomon on YouTube.